Imagine yourself weary from a long day of lectures and monotone professors, walking toward your bed, eager to get some rest, only to find a stranger is already sleeping in it.

Imagine having a person with multiple personalities live in close proximity, waking up late one night and hearing the sound of your roommate “pleasuring” themselves, or even walking into a shower that has puke all over the floor.

No, this is not a recap of the story about Goldilocks and the Three Bears, nor is it an attempt to evoke a recollection of your worst “Fear Factor” version of a nightmare. These are classic episodes of Sacramento State’s dorm life.

Shannon Emard, a junior, came home early one morning and found her male neighbor sleeping in her bed while her roommate, unaware of the intruder’s presence, was sleeping in the bunk right above.

“I had a neighbor who was always drunk. I came home early one morning, at like 8 a.m., and I went up to my bed and realized he was sleeping in my bed. I woke him up and he got up, really confused, because he was so drunk. He came in my room, thinking that it was his, even though the structure of our rooms were nothing alike,” she said. “I knew him, but not that well.”

Talk about impaired thought due to intoxication.

In addition, Emard noted the inconvenience of taking a shower in the women’s bathroom of dorm halls.

In a place where the only separation is a dingy shower curtain, Emard remembered the difficulty of “shaving your legs while some girl is puking on the shower floor right next to you.”

Hence the handiness of “shower shoes.”

A female freshman (who chose to remain anonymous) recalled a former roommate that kicked her out of their room throughout an entire weekend because her boyfriend was staying over.

“I walked in to get a movie to watch with a friend and they were ‘going at it’ at, like, two in the afternoon. She did that quite a few times that whole weekend.”

When asked how the naked duo reacted to her entrance, the anonymous freshman stated, “They just looked at me. That whole weekend, I didn’t sleep in my room.”

Okay, its not difficult to tolerate couples engaging in a “public display of affection,” but what is a tough situation to bear is walking in on a couple having sex in midday, with no bed covers.

Jeremy (who omits his last name), a junior, encountered a traumatizing experience that will ring in his ears for a long time to come.

“I woke up in the middle of the night and heard my roommate ‘handling’ himself.”

Get the picture? If not, think “lotion.”

In addition, Jeremy said that he immediately got up, walked out of the room and slammed the door.

Such events bring an entirely new meaning to the phrase: “Get a room!” A male freshman (who also chose to remain anonymous) remembered two past roommates of some significance: a Marine who was borderline gay and a schizophrenic.

“We were on a retreat and he (the Marine) went up on my bed and, like, jacked off in the bed and stuff. So I moved out of there real quick.”

As for the schizophrenic roommate, the freshman said that he met “all eight of them,” yet the temporary living situation wasn’t too bad.

“He was kind of quiet, kept to himself. The lights were always off and he never left the room. He listened to kind of like, devil music, meditated and stuff on the bed. That part tripped me out. But that wasn’t too bad, I’d rather have him over ‘wet.'”

It’s first-hand experiences like these that give reason to having an appreciation for good roommates and the rarity of having your very own room.