MTV sucks and it sucks hard. There is part of me that wonders if I am saying this because I have begun to move through the age group that MTV is geared toward. But honestly, I?d hate it just as much if I was five years younger.

At one time, MTV was the channel of music, in the business of showing music videos. Every so often there would be a documentary or a break to head over to MTV news. This is no longer the case.

MTV is now in the business of selling you things. They want you to buy, buy, buy the latest CD or soft drink or pair of jeans. Self-expression has been erased so that they can run “Total Request Live” and hawk the latest piece of poo Sony has on the market.

Indeed, it seems like music has begun to get in the way. One must only look at TRL for evidence of this. The purpose of the show is to count down the “top” 10 videos in the country, but they hardly ever show any videos. Instead, they have interviews with Sarah Michelle Geller about what she likes to do in her spare time. Who cares? Play some damn music!

And when TRL does show a video, you can?t hear the music because Tabitha from Newark is in a little box in the bottom right corner of the screen, screeching into the microphone about how much Creed changed her life.

MTV does not try to represent the youth of the country anymore. They try to shove an idealized version of young people down the throats of the audience. Their coverage of spring break tells the viewer spring break at MTV?s exotic locale is where they should be if they?re cool. Never mind the fact that half of the people they show probably aren?t affiliated with a college or university. You can spot them by the lack of bags under their eyes. They weren?t up late studying for midterms. They were working at Kinko?s.

Plus, there is the vast array of plain old weird junk they put on the air. “Becoming” is the show where lucky people get to impersonate their favorite performers in music videos. It is also one of the most pathetic things I have ever seen. “DisMissed” is even worse. Two members of the opposite sex compete to win a date with a contestant. Rather, two people who whore themselves out to win a date with someone who has nothing better to do than go on “DisMissed.”

Last and certainly least, there is “The Real World.” OK, Pedro in the San Francisco cast introduced AIDS to a large number of people. But besides that one bright spot, it has been nothing but garbage. A blatantly voyeuristic show where the cast members live in a mansion, get free food and are given greats job at some cool company. What world is this reflecting the reality of? The first couple of casts had some personality to them, but now they are usually out-of-work models who want to be on TV and complain about how nobody loves them.

Just in case things did not go down the tubes enough, MTV brought out “The Osbournes.” It?s like “The Real World,” but with a famous father no one can understand because he did too many drugs, a psychotic mother and two kids who are even more psychotic. Sadly, “The Osbournes” will be going off the air. What a shame, I won?t be able to hear Ozzy Osborne babbling anymore.

MTV sold out and sold out hard. They don?t care about changing the world, they care about you buying the products from the station?s advertisers. So I will be boycotting the station and will have to go without music videos completely. That is, until I can convince my cable company to start carrying M2.

The editors believe Ryan Flatley would make a great candidate for “The Real World.” Encourage him at [email protected].