1. Simplify, simplify, simplify.

If the holidays have you feeling overwhelmed, stressed and wondering howyou can possibly manage family, job, home, school plans and othercommitments, make a decision to cut back on what you are doing. Buyfewer gifts, use fewer bows and ribbons on packages and cut back onholiday projects. Listen to your emotions. Reduce commitments andexpenses to make things a little easier to accomplish.

2. Make a list. Check it twice.

Make a list of things you want to accomplish or experience during theholidays. Pick out two or three listed items that will define theholiday for you, say, visiting a friend who is back in town or theannual family dinner at your grandparent’s house. If there is time,energy and money, you can choose another item or two to tackle. Don’tprioritize a list of things to do; list things that are a priority. Addthe extras later. Don’t overextend and make yourself — and people whohave to deal with you — miserable.

3. Show your teeth.

Tempers are flaring in the stores, in the workplace and on the roadwaysbecause people don’t embrace the idea of “simplify, simplify, simplify.”A warm smile can brighten the gloomiest, most stressful of days. Shareyour appreciation of the coming holiday with a smile.

4. Don’t buy something for the person who has everything.

Are you feeling like you just have to buy a gift for someone, but you’reclueless about what to give him or her? Does the person seem to haveeverything? Here’s an idea: Donate a toy to Toys For Tots, buy a coatfor Coats for Kids or give money to a favorite charity in that person’sname. A nice card with a note explaining what you did makes a wonderfulpresent, and more than one person will benefit from your single,thoughtful gift.

5. Get into the music.

Listen — really listen — to holiday music. Savor the words, themelodies and the meaning of the songs about this wonderful season. Andtreat yourself to silly holiday songs, too. They will remind you tolighten up and relax.

6. Give your mind a few minutes off.

Take time to decompress. Watch your favorite video, do some lightreading, exercise, whatever you’d do any other time of the year torelax. Don’t neglect yourself.

7. Stop grumbling.

The more you grumble, the more you’ll find to grumble about. Look forthe positive side of each of your complaints. Too many people to buygifts for? Be grateful you have so many family and friends in your life.Too little money? Be glad for the roof over your head, food on yourtable and clothes on your back. Many people would consider you wealthy.Bummed because a mild winter might ruin your skiing trip? Be gratefulthat a homeless person will be a little warmer this holiday season.

8. Don’t do it all yourself.

If you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse or child, get them involvedin the holiday preparations. Take a deep breath first, because they maynot wrap the box like you would, or decorate the way you might. Butrelax and enjoy their contributions. It may not be easy to let go ofsome things, but do it anyway.

9. Rethink the whole New Year’s resolution thing.

Why force yourself to start some new routine, vow to finish a project orend a vice on the first day of the new year? Maybe Jan. 1 isn’t the bestday to add more pressure to your life. Take several days, even a fewweeks to think about your goals and what you want to change in yourlife, then start small and get a few “wins” under your belt. New Year’sDay is a great time for reflection, but you’ve got to work with theother 364, too.

10. Stay focused.

The holidays are about relationships, not stuff. Gifts, cards and socialor family occasions are valuable only if they bring people closertogether. Don’t let the technical part of the holidays overwhelm yourchance to express care and appreciation for the people in your life.