There comes a time in everyone person?s life when certain questions need to be asked. Boundaries need to be tested, and limits pressed. Now is the time of year when these queries become more prominent, and have the potential to result in altering one?s life. Out of all the questions that the individual deems important, there is one that surpasses the rest: “What am I going to be for Halloween?”

The costume that we choose today will affect tomorrow. With All-hallows-eve rapidly approaching, we need to research our costumes in order to assure that our rank in the social ladder is not in jeopardy.

Here are a few words of advice from Uncle A.F. Don?t dress as your favorite Tele-tubbie. If you feel it necessary to come to the party as a giant purple I-don?t-know-what, be prepared for your social life to slam on its brakes, and then back over your fuzz-covered person.

If there are any doubts in your mind as to what be for Halloween, simply spend one hour in the Library Quad. Bring a pad and pen because the flowing sea of students is rich with costume ideas. For example, one of the more popular costumes worn by today?s student is the “weary traveler.” This get-up consists of a suitcase-on-wheels contraption complimented by a speedy walk. Perfect for those students on the go. Pack in your books, binders, shoes, toaster, radio (with speakers), pens, pencils, etc. Top off this darling ensemble with a pair of airline tickets and passport, and you are sure to be the “ghoul with the most.”Another brilliant costume idea is the “can?t talk, must scooter” outfit. This one is easy. Go buy a scooter, a backpack and a firm sense of disregard for pedestrians. Once the necessary accessories have been purchased, proceed to practice your riding skills. I suggest you go to the supermarket. There you will find a multitude of obstacles that will help you hone your technique. Pay attention to the amount of people that you wave out of your path. If the number is larger than 20, pat yourself on the back, you?re doing great.

With the long list of costumes worn on today?s campus, I have but one more to offer to my readers. It is the “future chiropractor?s dream.” This costume may require some effort. Take a backpack that is roughly twice your size. Fill it with about 900 lbs of matter, the heavier the better (makes for greater effect). With your gigantic backpack weighting you down, saunter into any party and instantly become a star. You will be the best dressed since Steve Erkel, and all of the future Chiropractors in the room will flock. Never underestimate the power and presence of an alpaca.

Feel free to venture into the Quad and take a peek at the offerings from your fellow students. If you find a new and creative costume, let me know. My Batman costume is beginning to fray around the edges.

A.F. Fegley is still in the Quad looking for that perfect costume. He can be reached at [email protected].