If you own a cell phone, please turn it off or put it on vibrate until you’re done reading this column.

Two of my dearest friends and I went to see a free show on campus recently. The play was called “Gospel of Colonus” and it was presented to commemorate Dr. Martin Luther King’s birthday. It was a great show, but the funniest part happened before the play even started.Before a full house, a tall and robust man approached the audience and asked everyone with a cell phone to please turn their phones off! After this simple request, the audience then broke out into a wave of uproarious ovation.

This, my friends, is why I’ve proudly remained a cell phone virgin.

Like tattoos and hair highlights, it seems as if everyone has a cell phone these days. It also seems that anyone with a cell phone has to flaunt the fact that they have one. I mean seriously, have you ever noticed how expressive and animated people look whenever they carry a conversation on their cell?

Cell phone sightings are everywhere nowadays. One of my absolute favorite sightings has got to be the guy at the grocery store who was in the frozen food section yakking on his cell with his wife, asking her what kind of ice cream she wants. I really wanted to ask him, “Dude, does it really matter?”

But still, the silliest cell phone sightings are reserved for our school sports games. Then again, I can understand why people would want to use their cell phones there. There’re a lot of people there, and they’re bound to see you when you walk in front of the aisles, getting a great look at how “important” you are. Like cell phones make you look important.

You know the whole idea behind cell phones in the beginning was intended for extremely busy people, business associates, worried parents, and in cases of emergency. Now the cell phone has somehow spawned into an annoying trinket that people play with for whatever reasons they may have. I urge all of you cell phone owners to think of why you own one. Forget cancer, the most dangerous thing about cell phones is that they distract you, especially when you’re driving.

Unless it’s a real emergency, and no, fighting with your significant other doesn’t count, talking on your cell while you’re driving is just an accident waiting to happen. There should seriously be a law banning cell phone use when behind the wheel.

Another preventable situation involving cell phone use is when they go off in class. We’ve all had it happen. Well, there?s only one legal way that can guarantee that your class will be liberated from cell phone use.

Professors, the next time a cell phone goes off in your class, make an example of how irritating it is by assigning that (beeping) student a 10-page paper on etiquette. I?m sure that Miss Manners would probably back me up on this idea.

Listen, I know that cell phone use has probably saved lives, but it also makes you look pretentious and pathetic when you’re walking around campus chatting into one.

If you own a cell phone, great, but do yourself a favor and hang up your dependency on using it every chance you get.

Georgette Todd is a Journalism Major and can be reached by email at [email protected].