Dave Mason

It’s time for change.

It’s time for me to take over as leader of the sports world.

No, I’m not going to tackle the unfairness of the Bowl Championship Series or the use performance-enhancing drugs in sports because, well, we have far greater issues that are plaguing our sports world.

These new rules can be used in all sports.

Here’s a few we’ll put into place right away:

-Taunting:I’m all about a good taunt, but for every awesome “I just owned you” taunt, we have a lot unnecessary taunts.

Example: You just completed a nasty dunk. The crowd explodes and you decide to give the defender a little stare down &- unfortunately, you just got tossed out of the game.

Why?

You just broke the “It’s late in the game and my team is down 15 points, two touchdowns, or six runs and I decided to celebrate” rule.

No one wants to see a linebacker follow up a big hit with an excessive celebration when his team is down two touchdowns in the fourth quarter.

Your “me first” attitude is a turnoff to fans, and the best way to handle the situation is to kick you out of the game.

-Concession stands: A weekend in Las Vegas or a Saturday afternoon at AT&T Park? The weekend in Vegas may be cheaper, and if it’s not, you won’t remember it.

You spend an average of $35 on a ticket. If you throw on two beers and a hot dog, you’re looking at another $25.

It’s time to be realistic. You want a hot dog? $2. A beer? $4. The fans pay a ton to watch a game in person and they should be able to enjoy a game with fair prices.

If I’m going to do my part to help out the fans, they need to help me.

-Cheering the right way:It’s time to wave goodbye to the most overused, overrated fan “cheer” of all-time. What’s the purpose of it? It makes no noise and it causes fans to pay more attention to the wave than the game.

Fans need to focus on the game and their cheers are to be used only as a show of support or disapproval.

This doesn’t mean you should cheer recklessly. We can’t have fans rushing the field or court after a regular season win.

The only fair rule we can set is to allow people to rush the field or court if their team wins a championship.

This once-in-a-lifetime experience allows you to do things you wouldn’t be able after a win over the Padres in July. You can rush the field, flip over cars and commit other minor crimes without feeling too bad about it.

Now, excuse me. It’s time for me to figure out how to get rid of the Gatorade shower.

You can reach Dave Mason at [email protected]