Hugo Chavez is a nuisance. The leader of Venezuela is not the next Adolf Hitler. Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe or Omar al-Bashir of the Sudan clinched that dubious honor years ago. However, Chavez cannot be underestimated.

Recently, he welcomed some Tu-160’s to his country, antiquated fighter jets from Russia, in a half-assed attempt to flex geopolitical muscle while elevating tensions between two old Cold War rivals. What Chavez doesn’t understand is that the only worthwhile Russian inventions are AK-47s, Tetris and Siberian Huskies.

The truth is that his acquisition of two sub-par warplanes is a sad cry for attention and validation on the world stage. Although the fact remains that the planes he picked up can carry nukes.

Chavez is no more or less dangerous than any other dictator in the 21st century. We associate with Chavez because he has what we need: Oil. In a logical world, the United States would trade with Brazil for both oil and green energy solutions so that our dependence on Venezuela would dwindle.

Funnily enough, Brazil is producing dirt-cheap ethanol made from sugar that’s light on emissions. Unfortunately, stiff tariffs designed to protect American corn growers prevent us from pursuing that. But why using corn for fuel is a terrible idea is another column.

To get back on point, Chavez is detested for too many reasons to count. He is a hypocrite. He deprives his people freedom of choice by outlawing all opposing political parties. The husky, former paratrooper continuously threatens to pull the plug on players leaving Venezuela to play Major League Baseball, like Cuba does today. It’s unfortunate that Chavez’s pure hatred for the capitalist way of life would see him deny the rest of the world the joy of watching his nation’s most physically gifted citizens perform.

Imagine that Omar Vizquel never played here, as well as Johan Santana, Miguel Cabrera, Carlos Zambrano, and Francisco Rodriguez. What Chavez fails to realize is that some of his citizens who go to the United States and become wildly successful will return and use their influence and wealth to improve the place they grew up. He won’t have to settle for Americans circling the drain like Sean Penn.

Again, the only reason all of this is an issue because our country gorges itself on Venezuelan gas. In June alone of this year the official energy statistics of our government show that we imported 1.085 million barrels of liquid gold per day from Baby Huey.

I try to be a responsible consumer who buys products produced in our country whenever possible in an effort to one day live in a world in which the words “Made in America” are not said sarcastically. I also wave my middle fingers at every Chevron I drive by. It might actually be making a difference.

Despite having access to an ocean of oil, Venezuela’s economy is slowing.

A report from Business Day’s website estimates that inflation in Venezuela could boost as high as 27 percent in the upcoming year. The Council of Foreign Affairs website reports that it bloat to 31 percent in 2009.

Figures from the Central Bank of Venezuela show that food and drink prices are up 50 percent from August 2007. As always, it’s the lower class that suffers. While the portly Chavez chews cocoa leaves and probably puts some in his nose too, families pay outrageous prices for staples. Rather than put food in his people’s mouths, like a true socialist would, he wastes money.

That’s what’s, to me, most troubling about Chavez. He exhibits tendencies of every cokehead I have ever known. No one can anticipate his next antic. It’s not a reason to invade his country or assassinate him. It’s just a damn good reason to stop doing business with him.

Jordan Guinn can be reached at [email protected]