It’s no mystery that Sacramento State is facing a state-imposed budget crisis. It’s just the breaks when you have a state deep in debt because politicians spend money as if more can be printed up.

Last month a few Hornet editors, myself included, got the chance to sit down and talk with university President Alexander Gonzalez. He was asked about the proposed cuts, specifically what he would cut from the state budget instead of higher education if he had the power. He was extremely diplomatic in his response and politically danced around saying another area should be cut, rather he offered that spending more on education will stop the necessity of having to invest so much in our prisons. I agree in a sense, but we can take it further. This budget is a complicated mess that requires every citizen to roll up their sleeves and do their best to resolve the issue. So like any good taxpayer, I have some solutions to get the state out of debt.

Let’s start executing some of the worthless scum in prison who have been leeching off of public funds for decades. A prime example of two vile creatures currently behind bars is Lawrence Bittaker and Roy Norris. Bittaker and Norris tooled around in a 1977 GMC cargo van nicknamed “Murder Mack” and had a penchant for raping and torturing girls during the late 1970’s. After they satisfied their sick sexual urges with their victims, they would strangle them with wire coat hangers, Bittaker had a habit of sticking an ice pick in the victim’s ears while they were still alive.

Before you start quoting statistics about guilty men in prison, please understand something: It’s undeniable that these men committed these atrocities. Norris rolled on Bittaker as part of his plea bargain to avoid the death penalty. During the trial, Bittaker freely admitted to all of the charges and even took joy in taking the stand during the cross-examination. The two also made audiotapes that record Norris beating a girl with a hammer.

Had enough? Too bad, this sordid saga is just getting started. Norris is up for parole in 2010 and, fingers crossed, will not get it. However, it wouldn’t shock me in the slightest if he slipped through the cracks. If Norris is paroled expect my naked body wrapped in a shower curtain found at the base of a cliff somewhere in California.

Bittaker has been on death row since 1981. Bittaker has filed frivolous lawsuits against the state, including a charge of cruel and unusual punishment because he was served a broken cookie as part of his lunch.

The suit caused California five grand to settle because it had to prove that Bittaker could survive by eating only breakfast and dinner. There is no doubt of guilt for either of these lunatics. Why are they still alive? Beats the hell out of me. Who can defend these actions? These two criminals are among countless in our correctional system that are beyond rehabilitation and guilty without a doubt, so execute them.

Do the taxpayers a favor and stick some poison in their arm. Make sure that there is an air bubble in the syringe and break the tip of the needle off in their veins, problem solved. Anti-death penalty sympathizers who see “Dead Man Walking” and feel remorse for guilty criminals love to spout the stat that it costs more to kill an inmate than to have them serve life in prison. The only reason that is true is because the appeals process is ridiculous, in California any death penalty ruling comes with an automatic appeal. Plus we have to spring for surf and turf with all the trimmings when it finally comes time to put the leaking sack of excrement down.

If the state were to execute the clearly guilty and unrepentant criminals just lounging on death row and serving consecutive life sentences, the state wouldn’t have to raise the fees of the lower-middle class students attending CSU campuses. Politics just wouldn’t be as much fun without misplaced priorities.

Another state expenditure that should be drastically reduced to protect the California State University is the budget belonging to the California Highway Patrol. It’s a logical and efficient choice. These tough guys are often the ones that have their hand on their gun when they pull you over for expired registration. The CHP consumes fuel at a gluttonous rate in a time when gas is four dollars a gallon for regular. The CHP is valuable and their work should not be minimized, but millions of dollars in super premium gas and tricked-out Crown Vics is a little excessive.

Next time you see a CHP officer driving, monitor his or her activity. Watch how they cruise around aimlessly for hours on end and how tough they are when they pull over someone the least bit intimidated by their antics.

The CHP is inefficient. I hesitate to use the word “bloated” because they still can and will make my life a living hell if they take the time to read this. However, I don’t really care. Deal with the CHP like any bully, just give them faux-respect and endure them until they have had their fill of harassing you and move on.

The CHP should not endure massive layoffs, but its budget should be reduced. According to the proposed budget for 2007-2008, the CHP is getting a $150 million increase in its budget from last year. The total budget is just under $2 billion. What is more, it will cost over $500 million over the next five years to replace and update all CHP radios. So the California State University system gets as much as $386 million cut and the CHP gets fancy new radios and gas-guzzling behemoths. That’s fair. But nothing in life is fair. If life was fair, Bittaker and Norris would be tied to a chair, drenched in horse urine with their testicles hooked up to car battery.

Jordan Guinn can be reached at [email protected].