You know the feeling. I like to call it the beginning of the end. Things just don’t feel the same, and you dread the thought of having to face the other person day in and day out.

It’s what’s known as the breakup, but I’m not talking about a romantic relationship, no. Have you ever had to break up with a friend, a close friend even? It hurts deeper than any romantic breakup ever will, especially if the friend was a good one.

Things are sailing along fine until one day you realize that you hate the way that person chews his or her food. You hate the way she pops her gum every five minutes. Or worse, you hate how much the both of you have changed over the years. When you interact, you feel as though he or she not even the same person. What happens?

This comes from a very deep and personal place in my heart, and I still struggle with it to this day. How do you tell your best friend of 15 years that things aren’t going to work out? According to Essence.com, for women, the loss can be especially painful because we invest so much in our friendships. I can tell you that it’s not an easy process. It will probably go down in history as one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do.

There are days when you go back and forth, sometimes you guys have good days and sometimes you wonder how you ever became friends in the first place. You should try to start the breakup process slowly. Don’t just cut him or her off completely. Still make an effort to hang out with him or her just not as much. Distancing yourself is the key here.

If he or she want to go barhopping on Saturday but you know how much of a lush your friend is, kindly decline but make an effort to set up plans the next weekend; hopefully plans that don’t involve alcohol.

All the while, you should also be making an effort to find new friends that pique your interest. This may sound bad, but believe me, it is the only way. It’s all part of the larger plan you have for distancing yourself, and it is made much easier when you have new, exciting friends to occupy your time.

There are times when you may encounter a problem. You get the friend that just doesn’t get the point. Similar to the way you would treat a clingy boyfriend, you have to stick it to him hard. If he doesn’t get the subtle clues, then maybe it’s time to switch it up. Might I suggest not answering any text messages or calls?

Kelly Ede, a junior communication studies major believes you should try to limit your communication with him or her altogether.

“I’d reduce my calling. It would take me days to get back to her messages,” Ede said.

And if he or she still doesn’t get the point, go ahead and give T-Mobile, Cingular, or whoever your carrier is a call and kindly ask them to change you phone number. I’ve found when it comes to asking T-Mobile to do something, it is always best to ask them kindly but I digress. I know it may cost a little extra but it’s a small price to pay to get rid of a friend you can’t stand.

Once that friend, or ex-friend for the sake of the matter, does get the point, then it is time to move on. It’s hard, I know. Just like a breakup with a boyfriend, there are just certain places you can never go without being reminded of him. So find a new hobbie.

Girlslife.com states that best friend breakups are not all that uncommon. And the heartache can be even more painful than any boyfriend breakup.

It’s going to hurt a lot at first, but it does get easier and, in the end, when you realize you were much better off without that person, that is the most wonderful feeling in the world. To know you actually made a good, life-changing decision.

Oneika Richardson can be reached at [email protected]