Halloween has traditionally been a time to dress up as ghosts and football players and pirates. I just want to know when ‘whore’ got added to that list. Well, to answer my own question, it’s when the strange, eyebrow raising phenomenon of the “pimps and hos party” became such a staple of the fake Americanized version of this holiday.

It’s true, in the hierarchy of society’s Darwinist ladder, we look up to those below us, as prostitutes and pimps retain a level of compelling charisma that most of us average folks will never achieve. So I guess it’s only natural to use Halloween as a way to live vicariously through them.

For those of you who watch PBS and not MTV, a “pimps and hos” party consists of middle class, suburbanite college kids dressed up like Flava Flav and closet sorority girl sluts who get to show their true colors for one night and not get judged for it.

The guys wear rainbow-colored suits and hats that Yankee Doodle Dandy would be proud of. The girls are usually clad in nothing more than floss, a cocktail napkin and, of course, those tall, leather boots that look better behind your ears than they do on the ground. Add a lake of alcohol to this party and you’ve got yourself one loose red light celebration.

Now, I’ve got no problem with the idea that most preppy white kids want to be the hardcore, collar-poppin’, weed-smokin’, ho-bangin’ ballers they listen to on their iPods.

And I don’t have any problem with girls who validate the “sheltered-girl-goes-to-college-and-becomes-super-slut-overnight” label. The world needs you so we can feel better about our own lives as well as create the stereotypes that we all secretly give credence to.

It’s when you start exploiting a traditional religious Spanish holiday to act so whorishly embarrassing that I start getting upset.

And not just that, but it’s the social connotations that a pimps and hoes party has. Now the only thing guys have on their mind is getting to see women in that almost naked state. On the other hand, I have no idea what women are thinking when they attend one of these.

Call a woman a ho on your average Tuesday and you’ll probably get a face full of fist. But do the same on Halloween and it just might get you something on the opposite end of the body part-meets-body part spectrum.

So, does anyone else find it amusing that it’s perfectly acceptable to sexually exploit and degrade women at an event like this, but not anytime or anywhere else?

I wonder if there’s anyone out there who would say that the objectification of women could be partially blamed on Red Light Lucy who’s showing off the bottom third of her ass while a guy with a cane in one hand and a ruby-studded chalice in the other, tosses Monopoly money at her while she writhes and gyrates atop a beer soaked pool table in the middle of my buddy Jeff’s garage. No? I didn’t think so either.-

So this Halloween, when you get that invite to your first pimps and hos ball, remember why you’re there and that you do indeed look as ridiculous as you feel, especially you guys.

There is no other day when you can look like an incredibly wealthy circus clown and basically call a woman a street-walker and summon a laugh. So take advantage of it.

And women, remember that you were probably invited for one reason: you most likely look very good without your clothes on. There is no other day when you can so incredibly exploit your own kind, while still retaining your reputation. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a party to get ready for.

Josh Huggett can be reached at [email protected]