In today’s world, any relationship headed to the next level will need the dreadful, “lets get tested” talk. Yes, the talk about Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

It’s human to think, “I know where I’ve been and I’m clean.” And if your new partner tells you they are clean or that they were tested a year ago then everything will be OK, but that’s not always true. This is why so many people get STD’s and transfer them without even knowing it. Some people are in denial; they want to believe it couldn’t happen to them.

This is when you should make the decision to get tested, but the hard part is how to bring it up to your partner. I believe the best time is not at the beginning of a relationship, but when things become sexual, whether that’s in the first week or after years of dating.

Doctors and clinics will say testing is best before the first time. This is true, but realistically, you never know when it’s going to happen and there is already a lot of pressure on the situation. Who wants to push getting tested when you haven’t even done the hump yet?

In my opinion it’s up to each individual person. Make sure to use protection and be safe, but remember condoms are the best protection besides abstinence and they still are not 100%.

If the conversation comes up before intercourse before intercourse takes place, it can go two ways. It could be a great discussion and could have been on the other persons mind as well, but it could also seem a little pushy and make your partner wonder why you want to get checked so soon into the relationship. It could put some questions into their mind about you.

Here are a few things that can make it easier. Explain that you want to know for yourself, that it has been a while since you have been tested and you want to make sure that everything is good with you (instead of saying you don’t trust them and who they have been with). Also let them know you really care about them, and if an intimate moment comes up where you both choose not to use protection, everything can be OK.

What you don’t want to end up doing is procrastinating and saying to yourself, “I’ll talk about it next week- OK next month- well after we have been sexual for a few months-” Then you end up never getting tested and not knowing what your or your partner might have before hand.

Next is getting tested. STDs can be tested through blood work, saliva tests, urine tests, or examinations.

STD’s are transferred by body fluids, semen, and even saliva. So you still can transfer a disease through skin to skin rubbing even before sexual intercourse.

In 2000, an estimated 18.9 million new cases of STDs occurred in the United States. Although ages 15–24 years represented only 25 percent of the sexually active population, approximately 48 percent of STD cases in 2000 occurred in this age group, according to The Department of Health and Human Services.

We know the safest way to not transmit an STD is to refrain from sexual intercourse, but that’s not always the case. So get tested, be honest, and gentlemen, strap on the life jackets!

Shauvon Torres can be reached at [email protected]