Guest Commentary: Alex Loret de Mola is a student at Sacramento State.

Women have come a long way in their quest for equality. I am a firm supporter of human rights, especially the rights of women: and that’s why it breaks my heart to see many women on campus falter on equality in relationships, the closest bond that two people can have with each other.

Daily, I run into female friends who tell me about the problems that they have with their so-called “better half.” They often feel ignored, or like they are the inferior member of the relationship.

Sometimes they worry that their partner isn’t being faithful to them: and often with good reason. Those who have chosen to live with their partners sometimes have found that they are suddenly doing all the work around the house.I always ask them the obvious question: why are you still with him? The answer: “because I love him.” Even when they know that he’s been unfaithful, I have heard them appeal to the old lie that a woman can change a man; which is so befuddling that it makes my head spin.

After seeing this for years in the relationships of some of my closest friends, I have come to the conclusion that some form of irrational logic is keeping women with men that are, quite frankly, bad for them. The culprit, as far as I can tell, is the instinct of initial attraction. As a recent article pointed out, some women are drawn to masculine men: men who fit that old-world stereotype of the male role.Wake up! This is where the problem begins. By definition, masculinity is an ideology concerning the superiority of men over women. Not that this is always a conscious effort. Rather, the subjection of women is innate in that system of thought, on a level so deep that many do not even have cognition of it: a thought process of competition, stratification and domination.

Naturally, since it is patricentric, the conclusion of the masculine way of thought is that men are in some way superior to women.

The question I have is twofold: what does a woman want from a man on a conscious level, and what do they want on an instinctive level?

It seems that some women consciously seek equality and unconsciously seek masculinity in a man. This is evidenced most, however, by common qualities that many women say they are looking for in a man: that he should be respectful, thoughtful, caring etc.

However, this is contradicted by the men that some women choose. If it is a desire for masculinity that women are seeking, as is suggested, then they will be hard pressed to find someone who will treat them with thoughtfulness, care or respect.

Indeed, the masculine male will often not treat others as equals. Inequality in a relationship can only lead to unhappiness, as the true dominating nature of such men begins to lead to an imposition of will: demanding to know where you are, forbidding you to see certain friends, demanding your time or favors (of any kind you can imagine) without giving any back in return (or, with the malicious ones, giving back only the minimal needed to sustain the woman’s hope that he is “making an effort”).

In extreme cases, such inequality leads to domestic abuse or even forced sexual acts. They will also be more likely to cheat on a woman in such a situation, because constantly devaluing the female gender inevitably leads to the point where women seem more like interchangeable parts than human beings. Look at the men who treat women as a “score” that they must acquire a tally of: A sickening mix of the dehumanizing and competitive nature of the masculine man.

Do any of those symptoms of an unhealthy relationship sound familiar to any of my readers? Tragically, these are things that many women have had to go through in relationships.

Given that scenario, what choice can be made? Women in this position seem to have a choice to make between that which is masculine and that which desires equality.

I am not saying that a woman should ignore initial attraction entirely: but as Immanuel Kant once said, “Know thyself.” Women, it is up to you to analyze how your instincts drive you, and to put those instincts in check if they cause more harm than good. And believe me, there are good men out there: they just might not be the ones that you are initially attracted to.