On the top of most guys’ list of annoying things women do,complaining about their bodies has to be about second or third. Idon’t think I’ve ever met a woman who was completelysatisfied with her body or looks &- likewise, I’verarely met any guy who likes to hear a woman list off the thingsshe hates about herself, especially in those post-coitalcuddles.

Luckily for the women, a new study from Harvard Medical Schoolindicates that men have insecurities in that area, as well. The menin the study picked out photos of what they thought women saw asthe ideal male body, and the photos showed men significantly moremuscular than what the women actually chose.

The thing that bothers me is most of us care so much what otherpeople find attractive, and it makes us hypercritical ofourselves.

A sexual relationship is the most obvious place for thoseinsecurities to rear their ugly little heads. Some leave the lightsoff until they’re under the covers. Others leave the roombackwards to avoid showing butt cellulite.

Since it’s not really possible to round up all the men andwomen in the world, put them in a room and tell them to reassureone another, here are a couple of things I’ve learned to helppeople let go of their insecurities and just be.

For one, don’t think about what people on TV or in movieslook like. The average human being has less than a 1 percent chanceof looking like a model, and I’m sure even if you throwactors and other attractive celebrities in that pot, the chancesare still about the same.

The entertainment media have a tendency to try to convincepeople they are inadequate in some way.

Secondly, don’t think about the past too much. If yourcurrent girlfriend used to date Brad Pitt, don’t think aboutit. She’s with you, and she’s not scrutinizing yourpecs to compare. If she is, dump her immediately. She’s waytoo judgmental. Just kidding.

If you have the guts, another thing that can help you lose yourinsecurity in the bedroom is to just let it all hang out. What Imean is, if both partners feel they have insecurities, try justhanging out naked for a while. It might sound obvious or it mightsound scary, but it can be a good way to relax about whatever flawsyou think you might have.

Neutralizing fears gradually helps the process, so ifyou’re not ready to just be naked in broad daylight (indoors,of course), try candlelight. It does wonders for any supposedflaws.

If insecurities start before the relationship, before theclothes come off, or even before leaving the house every morning,that’s a different story. Sometimes by the time I leave thehouse I’ve tried on four different ensembles in a vain effortto minimize some flaw that seems glaring to me, so don’tthink I’ve got this all figured out. I do know thatconfidence is much more attractive than insecurity.

One important thing to realize is that almost everyone elseharbors his or her own insecurities, so we’re all in the sameboat. Besides, a fat butt to one person is a hot ass to another, sodon’t judge yourself, or anybody else, for that matter. If weall give each other a break, maybe all those insecurities will meltaway. On the other hand, where’s the fun in that?