I love the movie “Fast Times at Ridgemont High,”mostly because almost every character in the film has traits thatappear in real life. The stoner/surfer types, the jocks, the studs,the bullies, and the girl who knows it all when it comes to sex.Phoebe Cates’ character has plenty to say on the subject;information to dish out and a lot of know-how, but she never seemsto actually have sex. She does inspire Judge Rienhold in one of themost memorable fantasies sequences on film and guides JenniferJason Leigh until she’s so confused that she can’tremember what she wants anymore.

Well, this isn’t high school anymore, and thatknow-it-all, big talking attitude gets old fast. It’s notabout doing it or not &- it’s about false advertising,false hopes, and surface-level appeal.With guys, talking big aboutsex and their own studliness is the equivalent of having a flashycar; it’s all about status. But approaching a woman with theline “You, me, whipped cream, handcuffs … anyquestions?” means she’ll actually expect anexperienced, very kinky person. Once behind closed doors, ittranspires that everything said guy knows he learned from pornmovies, and disappointment sets in.

Guys who’re comfortable with themselves don’t needto brag or make false claims to get women to like them. Most womenwould rather have him keep quiet or admit he’s inexperiencedthan make claims he’s incapable of delivering. With women,there are two issues. First is the woman who just shoots off hermouth, claiming all sorts of contortionist gymnastics as herspecialty. A lot of guys will be intrigued by her talk andattitude, but sooner or later she’s faced with reality, andit all comes back to bite her on the ass. The real thingshe’s after isn’t sex, it’s power. Power to makemen want her and make them think she’s the fantasythey’ve been having since puberty, in the flesh. It’s aheady thing, power is, but it’s cold company when everyonerealizes it isn’t backed by anything real.

The second issue with women is the act of the “takentease.” This is the woman whose boyfriend’s either longdistance or works a lot, so she hangs out with her friends withouthim. She appears available &- she flirts, she shoots out thosesidelong glances that pull men toward her like moths to the flame.She implies that she could be induced to sleep with them, but ofcourse, she won’t. Maybe this isn’t as common, butthere are women like this, and their main goal is the same; power.She’s hard to get, but she flashes enough flesh and hintsenough to tease him into hanging around. In reality, nobody likesthat woman either; nobody trusts her, and her power isshort-lived.

I would venture to say that most people aren’t looking fora power hungry, game-playing, insecure tease, they’re lookingfor someone who they can trust and connect with. Most people havehad those nights where they stay up until dawn talking to someonethey hit it off with about stuff that they don’t normallytalk about with anyone, even their closest friends. It’s areal experience, more real than all the bragging, lusting andforbidden fantasies in the world. Anyone who’s heard theexpression “It’s always the quiet ones,” knowswhat I mean. After all, doesn’t Jennifer Jason Leigh end upwith the nicest, quietest guy in the movie, while sex goddess Catesgets dumped and ends up alone?