One wish, you say? Well, I’d wish for a long life, allowing me to pursue all the dreams I’ve been conjuring up since I was a kid; my greatest fear is dying before I ever get started.

Of course, we all have to face the death of others, confront it, punch it in the face and move on. It’s hard to do this, however, when you are away at school, away from family and friends.

Petey Cadji, my beloved dog, died Feb. 20, 2004. Petey was never my best friend, really — he was just that kid who never leaves your home and eats all of your food, but you don’t have the heart to say anything to him. He always growled at my friends and me, tried to run away and tried his best to cause trouble.

My mom got Petey from the pound and brought him in to surprise me one day at preschool. That was my first memory — a black and white terrier-mutt running toward me. I thought, “Who in the world does this dog think he is?” I realized he was my new dog, and my life started at that moment.

I had Petey for 15 years and up until he died, I hadn’t a memory of life without him. My mom called me out of the blue, telling me that the veterinarian had to put my dog to sleep because his quality of life was so poor. That call — that miserable phone call — caused me so much pain. I was closer to that dog than I am with the family I never see. All I wanted to do was be home, home with my mom. It’s funny how a death can make a 20-year-old young adult revert to a 6-year-old kid, just wanting his mom to say in that comforting mom voice, “Everything is going to be OK.”

It’s hard being here at school while the life you once lived — that parallel universe back home — is going on without you. It’s hard dealing with loss while away from your comfort zone; everything was just so damned simple back home.

While coping away from home, you hide your feelings away. People here didn’t know the kind of friend you lost, or the kind of person your cousin was. So why tell them and be bombarded with questions from people who don’t really understand or who fake like they actually care?

“I found it easier to not tell people because I didn’t want people asking questions — it would just add to the grief,” explains Melissa Gabel, a freshman graphic design major. Her close uncle died while she was away from home.

You cry about the loss, but it’s not your fault. You couldn’t have done anything to change what happened, but you somehow think you can. You daydream, coming up with some scheme to save the day, save your dog and save your friend. But it’s all just your mind playing tricks on you, finding a way to cope with the terrible loss.

Being away at college, without family support, can be extra strenuous when having to deal with tests, papers and reading. You just can’t concentrate; who can read about westward expansion or constellations when someone you know just died?

“I thought about it for a week … I couldn’t concentrate on my school work, it just distracted me,” freshman Ed Banchero explains. He lost a close friend from back home while he was away at school. “Talking to my friends from back home on AOL did help a little, though.”

Sacramento can turn real ugly real fast when you find out someone has died. Nothing makes sense and people seem strange. It’s not easy being away from home for the first time and death only makes the adjustment even harder.

However, there are things you can do to help the grieving process Judy Andrade she sets up appointments for free therapy sessions at the Student Health Center.

“We have licensed professional therapists that deal specifically with bereavement and also with many first-time freshman that have had a hard time adjusting while away from home” Andrade says.

“I talked to others that also lost family members and we discussed how to cope with that,” says Jeff Levasseur, a freshman criminal justice major, describing how he dealt with losing a close family friend from back home.

The counseling and group sessions help, but what we all want and wish for after a death is more time, just one more day.