Everyone look around. Through your hundred-dollar sunglasses. Take a good look around. You see it everywhere on campus. The “Barbie Polish” is in full effect as spring has made its debut. There are a few in every class–and they parade through campus promoting plastic perfection. Powder up, girls. Quick. Class is almost over. Gotta look pretty for the public.

All the Johnny Come Preppies are out there awaiting your cat walk from class to class. The camera is rolling. Put on those Miss America Smiles and shake your groove thing.

It’s all a picture show, but nobody’s buying a ticket–because it’s FREE. It seems to be “God bless spring and short skirts,” according to Generation MTV.

College relationships start and stop and bounce around like the pinball effect. At one point or another they end up in the gutter.Where’s the love? Nobody cares. Most guys learn what love is from women, but girls are losing their grasp of traditional love.

In a survey conducted by Jennifer McLaughlin & Michelle Earley, of The Parthenon, “More than 90 percent of the women said ‘hooking up’ was common and 40 percent said they had experienced it.” High school sweethearts are a dying breed. Long distance relationships are a daydream. People need to wake up and move on. All you students looking for dream dates or dream mates at parties or bars–open your eyes. You’re on campus constantly. Find an intelligent date rather than one puking in the bathroom of some stranger’s house.

Herein lies the problem, however. How often do good looks reflect sophistication?

There is fantasy land and there is reality. Girls want Brad Pitt. Guys want Britney Spears. Personally, lunch with Heidi Klum is high on my list, but it’s not gonna happen.

Everyone is getting older. It’d be great to go back to being a teenage dirt bag–but this is college. We’re supposed to grow up, find someone compatible, get married and raise a family.Right.

Most guys want to experience a variety. They aren’t looking for a “good thing.”

They are looking for a “good night.” Tasting all thirty-one flavors is not an exaggeration with some guys.

And girls, well they just want every guy, good-looking or not, to worship them. Too bad there are no Southern Belles in California. The difference between a dream date and dream mate can be summed up with these slogans: “Not yet 21 and looking for fun” and “Twenty-three means matrimony.”

Dating is harmless, but it brings needless drama. Drama explodes and leads to chaos. There are consequences to making it around the block a few times with more than one partner. So play the game with moderation. That’s right, dating is a game. Know the rules. Deal with the stereotypes, and don’t wake up next to someone who doesn’t even know your favorite color. Chances are it won’t last.

As for these stereotypical character judgments based on looks alone — everyone is guilty. Girls want a guy who is smart, funny, handsome, loves kids and long walks on the beach. All they end up with is a guy whose only talent is smashing beer cans on his forehead and belching the alphabet, but he looks like a flawless model ripped out of an Abercrombie magazine. Not to mention the fact he probably has two other girls on his mind for later in the week.

Women want equality and scream “double standards.” Propaganda this, propaganda that. In the long run, love should not be about an image, but a bond. So don’t throw it around during Friday night hook-ups. You don’t kiss after the first hello, and you don’t fall in love at first sight.

For all you freshmen still in your immature state of what’s socially hip–it gets old. And for you Johnnys out there too busy staring at all the beautiful women–quit drooling. They know you’re watching. You’re gonna end up with a bad case of whiplash. All it takes is a skinny blonde to scoot on by in a pair of low-cut jeans exposing her stereotypical belly button ring.

Trends are not beautiful. Try individualistic.

On the flip side, there’s the “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” defense. Young, away from home and rebellious. Perfect recipe for attention – starved material girls.

It’s not hip to have a boyfriend who is romantic and caring. What I want to know is, do these girls actually take these bozos home to meet Mom and Dad?

Talk about entertainment.

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