Hey, did you guys know that fast food is fattening?

No really, it’s true!

But what if all the students who eat at Burger King and Round Table every day decided to sue Sacramento State because, they say, there are no healthy food alternatives on campus? Lawyers would descend on the university like vultures, waiting for the first sign of overweight students with no personal responsibility to bawl about their poor health.

It could happen, and it will all be made possible by Samuel Hirsch, a lawyer representing a couple of New York teens who tried to sue McDonald’s last summer for making them fat. Apparently they didn’t realize eating Big Macs every day would make a person overweight.

In January a judge threw out the case, but invited more litigation by suggesting that people weren’t aware of how McDonald’s processed its food. In February, Hirsch filed a new suit, this time alleging that McDonald’s is deceptive about its cooking processes and leads customers to believe the food is healthier than it really is.

Um, Sam? Guys? It’s OVER-PROCESSED, DEEP-FRIED ANIMAL FLESH, FAT AND STARCH, completely devoid of real nutritional content. But it tastes really good, and that’s why people eat it.

Many students at Sac State eat at least one fast food meal a day at school because, they say, there are no healthy places to eat, no alternatives to junk. But healthy options do exist on campus; the problem is that no one seems to want to eat healthy food.

The River Front Market has featured a salad bar since 1977, yet ask around and few people know it’s there. Java City Coffee House began offering a salad bar last semester, but manager Jon Adcock says french fry sales probably outnumber salad sales 10-to-1. Java City also offers fresh sandwiches and fruit cups, but if you check the Union at lunchtime, the longest lines are usually at Burger King.

Students moan and groan about the food on campus, so why aren’t they flocking to the salad bars? Well, one problem might be the cost. You can get an up-sized-jumbo-mega-meal with a bushel of fries and a soda for the cost of a salad or sandwich at Java City. Maybe it’s because, like most Americans, we’re conditioned by millions of dollars in marketing to pass up unprocessed meats and veggies in favor of everything fried.

The training starts in the classroom. McDonald’s announced this month a $1 million marketing collaboration with Scholastic Inc. McDonald’s is pitching in to help kids read – while instilling the value of the Golden Arches at the same time. Gotta get ’em while they’re young.

The fast food industry has a marketing budget to rival the national defense, spending millions every year to glamorize fast food to adults and kids alike. Few people really understand what a healthy diet is. Yeah, there’s that thing called the food pyramid, but who really pays that much attention?

Those kids in New York should have paid more attention to it. Maybe they would have realized that adults only need an average of 2,500 calories per day. Eating three or four 1,000-calorie meals a day might be overdoing it. Either way, their ignorance isn’t reason enough for a lawsuit.

American marketing and culture don’t exactly encourage healthy eating habits, and the fact that there are so few healthy choices at Sac State proves that. But healthy campus fare does exist, despite all the advertising to the contrary.

So, if you really do want to eat healthier, now you know where to go. (Another alternative no one seems to think of is to, uh, bring your own lunch!) The rest of you can continue to enjoy your 10-pound hamburger, basket of fries and pizza every day. But whatever you do, please don’t hire a lawyer.

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