When it comes to cheating, Sacramento State students are pretty closed mouthed. Most students approached with the question “What do you consider cheating?” had no comment, or answered but refused to be photographed.Perhaps infidelity is more common than I’d originally thought.

Most statistics revolve around cheating in a marriage situation so it’s hard to compare to college relationships. Plus, the statistical data is hard to sort out. One research center says one in five women cheat, another says 24 percent of men, 17 percent of women, all about married people.

It’s hard for many to define what it means to cheat. Some consider that fluttery feeling, as if one can control those kinds of reactions, a form of cheating. Others go so far as to rationalize being in a different state, area code or even Zip code as a legitimate reason for cheating. There are many opinions and it all comes down to personal belief coupled with gut instinct.

I hate to be judgmental — I believe in a philosophy that doesn’t allow me to pass judgment on others — but for the sake of this column I believe it’s necessary to just come right out and say it.

There is no rationale for infidelity. Not one tiny little miniscule piece of logic that can excuse betraying someone in such an intimate matter.

The minutia of what constitutes infidelity remains between the two people involved in the relationship. Whether we admit it or not, most of us indulge in fantasies. The human mind is a fertile place, and things spring, mostly subconsciously, from that.

Kissing, touching, fondling, on the other hand, I’d say are totally off limits. Flirting is a fine line, and the way to step over it is to go a step too far with suggestive speech or any kind of leading physical contact.

Most people have the common sense to know what’s right and wrong, what’s appropriate or not. It’s an instinctive feeling in the stomach, whenever something’s not quite right.

One student who refused to give his name said that anything short of sex is fair game. If they’re unhappy, or bored or just curious, students may consider that an excuse to cheat, but they forget that it can be really hurtful.

Even if the other person doesn’t find out, cheating can be really damaging. If a cheater passes on a sexually transmitted disease to a partner, they’re not only betrayed but they now have to deal with a potential health issue.

Although no one wanted to talk about their experiences, it’s clear that more than a few students have had very bad experiences with partners getting action on the side.

“To me kissing is almost as bad as the other (having sex),” said one female student who also declined to state her name.

If a person feels the urge to stray, they should seriously evaluate whether the problem is with their current relationship or with themselves. It’s more fair and honest to just break up with the person than keep them in the dark and cheat on them. I’d rather have a broken heart because the relationship wasn’t working than be so betrayed, and put in danger of getting a STD. A committed relationship should be safe.

I hope anyone who’s considering cheating or is currently cheating will think about the consequences to the person they care about, and think also about their own conscience. It’s hard to be happy when you’re guilty. For more information on the subject, check out http://relationshipdirectory.com/infidelity.html orhttp://www.divorcereform.org/mel/raffairstats.html.