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Everyone has a few skeletons in their closet; most just aren’t as complicated and vicious as Tom Stall’s in “A History of Violence.”

Stall (Viggo Mortensen) seems to have a picture-perfect life. He has the overly obnoxious “textbook” wife (Maria Bello), two seemingly ideal children, a house in the country and a quaint diner, conveniently located in the center of town.

Everything seems just too right, the storybook, suburban dream, until some unwanted out-of-towners make their way to Stall’s cafe late one night right after closing. It soon becomes apparent these men are there for something other than the pie.

Just when it seems like a head-turning scene is about to begin, with unknowing force, Stall takes these men down with CIA style moves in three seconds ensuring his spot as this sleepy town’s hero.

After his newfound fame makes its way to every television in the country, some unwanted attention finds its way to the place where it all began: Stall’s cafe.

This black-suit, Philadelphia mobster, Carl Fogarty (Ed Harris) insists that Stall is not who he says he is, but that Stall is Joey Cusack, a ruthless killer.

At this point, the perfection that Stall has grown accustomed to completely begins to unravel. Is this small-town diner owner the Tom Stall everyone has grown to love, or the headhunting murderer Joey Cusack with a severe history of violence?

Despite all the hype surrounding this film, the magic just wasn’t there.

First of all, the movie started out extremely slow. It took at least one-third of the running time to introduce two mildly important characters and develop the unbelievable and very corny Stall family relationship. This part, with better writing and casting, should have taken less than 15 minutes.

The worst part of this movie is definitely the development of the Stall family relationship. However, simple this task may seem, the actuality of it played out like amateur film making at its worst. Whose entire family, including the teenage son, rushes to the bedside of a 5-year-old in the middle of the night to chase away shadow monsters? The poor writing and casting in this aspect of the film pretty much created a pathway to disaster.

The icing on the cake in this poor character development is definitely Edie Stall (Maria Bello). Her character could not be any more obnoxious and distracting, even if Fran Drescher had been cast instead.

When it seems like this movie has no where to go but down, an awesomely crafted fighting scene crashes onto the screen with injuries previously only read about. What is great is this movie actually shows them.

Despite the horrible Stall family casting, the Philadelphia mob casting was completely opposite. Harris was great as Fogarty, as was William Hurt who played Richie Cusack, Joey’s long-lost brother.

After all is said and done, there are really only two words that made this film worth watching: Viggo Mortensen.

Not only did his half-clothed scenes light up the screen and gather the attention of all the ladies in the room, his very believable acting skills and kick-butt action scenes made the men perk as well.

In the end Mortenson’s acting just couldn’t carry the whole film. The script had potential, but should’ve been rewritten a few more times to smooth out the very jagged edges. In addition, the casting director definitely should have rethought his or her decisions when it came to the better half of the Stall family.

Even though “A History of Violence” received several award nominations, including two Oscars, and has appeared on at least 150 top ten lists, according to the DVD cover, the entire package just wasn’t there.

It’s movies like this one that make me wish Best Buy had an open movie return policy.

Rating: two out of four stars.

Liz Gransee can be reached at [email protected]