When I think of fame I think of Jessica Simpson or Britney Spears, dancing and singing on stage with hundreds of thousands of fans adoring their every move.

Recently, however, fame has become a noun I wish to forget.

My 15 minutes of fame have come and gone, thankfully.

From Feb. 11 to 19, the popular reality dating show &Elimidate& filmed a series in Sacramento, which is expected to air in May.

The show held auditions during the first two weeks of December, making its way from Tokyo Fro&s in Sacramento to the Powerhouse Pub in Folsom.

I was one of the many girls rushing to fill out paperwork and be interviewed.

I was asked questions like &Are you a jealous person?& and &What lengths will you go to get a guy that you like?&

I had consumed one too many mind-altering substances before the audition and I came across to the producers as a lot crazier than I normally am.

They loved it.

Sure enough, I got a call.

Before I knew it, I was waking up at 9 a.m. on Feb. 11 to begin filming the show that had me competing against three other women for one guy whom I had never met.

The whole day started and ended in a dreamlike blur.

For two hours, I endured the worst case of nerves imaginable until the crew was ready for me.

The nervousness quickly subsided when I met the guy, my female competition and the film crew.

I didn&t have to think.

Every scene, from what was said to how we sat, was scripted in some way.

Forget about the reality in &reality show.&

Many times I found myself trying to read one of the producer&s lips about what he wanted me to say next.

The crew wanted conflict and drama to boost its ratings.

The date took us down 11th Street and up K Street to local restaurants and a bar.

The producers wanted me to fight with at least one of the girls the entire time.

Nothing I said or did on camera, I felt, reflected who I really am.

The show also used several people to fill in the background.

We went into K-Bar at 7 p.m. to begin filming the last scene, which surprised me a lot.

I always assumed everything was filmed during regular bar hours with real people and not those that the crew had set up in certain places, but it was quite the opposite.

At the end of the date and three &elimidations& later, I had &won& the guy.

At first, I was elated.

&I won! I won!& I screamed into the phone to my friends.

Then, as I walked up the steps to my apartment, I felt disgusted.

&What have I done?& I said to myself.

I had kissed a guy on camera and acted completely out of character.

I tried to forget how fame no longer seemed as cool as it used to seem for me.

Then I remembered I had to do it all again on Feb. 19.

The producers said it was their first time filming a &dating tournament& in Sacramento since the show began in 1996.

&Think of it as the All-Stars,& said one of the producers.

Except all stars doesn&t tell you what to say, how to feel and where to go.

The final show pitted me against the winners of three other episodes that had been filmed throughout the past week.

I came, but this time with the intention of being completely myself.

I met the girls, said a few mean words and then tried being nice for the rest of the date.

When everyone was being filmed playing paint ball, I sat out behind the cameras.

Of course, the girls made fun of me, but I was determined to get off the show, with my claim-to-fame turning into a plea for help.

The most disturbing part was how things changed between takes.

Each time the camera turned off, a girl that had just said some really mean things to me would apologize and tell me, &It&s just for them.&

That, to me, defeated the whole purpose of a &reality show.&

I finally spoke my mind when the producer asked me why I thought one of the girls immediately attacked me on the show.

&Because you told her to,& I said.

I think I&ll leave fame up to professionals like Simpson and Spears.

They must be good at being &fake.&

Not me.