The Lakers will be crowned champions with or without Kobe Bryant.Shaquille O’Neal will prove to be the league’s unmatched MVP.

That being said, let’s break down the only conference that really matters, from worst to first.

8. Houston Rockets: The Rockets were on the brink of the playoffs last season. They’re like the Alicia Silverstone of basketball — something great in the mid-’90s, before falling off the map, only to reinvent themselves.

7. Portland Trailblazers: The NBA’s version of “Boyz n’ the Hood” doesn’t have a single leader. The team is made up of rival cliques: The Zach Randolph/ Ruben Patterson “assault cult” vs. the Damon Stoudamire/ Qyntel Woods “stoner club” (leading the league with marijuana possession citations) vs. The Rasheed Wallace/ Bonzi Wells “Big mouths that just won’t shut up crew.”

6. Phoenix Suns: Does anyone else think it would be a good idea to move the Suns to the Eastern Conference? They feature a stud guard in Stephon Marbury, athletic forwards in Amare Stoudemire and Shawn Marion, the overrated/ over-the-hill type in Penny Hardaway and they lack a true big man.

5. Sacramento Kings: Losing Hedo Turkoglu, Scot Pollard, Jim Jackson and Keon Clark in exchange for Brad Miller, Anthony Peeler and Tony Massenburg doesn’t help things.

Mike Bibby is the most overrated player in the NBA. An average guard in the West –worse than, Marbury, Francis, Steve Nash, Sam Cassell and Gary Payton. No better than Van Exel, Tony Parker, Andre Miller and Jason Williams.

4. Minnesota Timberwolves: The T-Wolves went out and grabbed Latrell Sprewell, Cassell and former first round pick Michael Olowokandi. By the way, Kevin Garnett is better than any player on the Kings and his new supporting cast is superior to Webber’s as well.

3. San Antonio Spurs: Yawn…you know they’ll be good.

2. Dallas Mavericks: By nabbing Antawn Jamison and Antoine Walker not only do they get two different versions of the same first name, but they also get a combined 42.3 points per game.

Can you imagine Yao Ming chasing Nowitzki around the 3-point line? Now that’s entertainment!

1. Los Angeles Lakers: Why even play this year? Payton, Malone, O’Neal and Bryant. On the same team? Are you kidding me? Is that legal? They have arguably the best and second best players in the game. Fifth starter Devean George might even be an all-star on any other team.

Forget all the talk and drama — Kobe will be ready to play and the Lakers will once again be champs.

Will you be ditchin’ class to watch the Kings in action Wednesday night or are you dying in anticipation for Midday Madness?

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