“Bondage, spanking and flagellation,” nothing like a little harmless entertainment! Horny old men and hormonal pubescens alike, gather ’round theaters today to catch the premier of “The Notorious Bettie Page.” This is the film that promises to bring the tease of Page’s sexy still frames to life.

On the surface, this black and white film serves as the biographical accounts of the 1950’s “pin-up queen of the universe,” model Bettie Page. It won’t take audiences long to figure out that the biographical content is more of an excuse to produce a big screen peep show decorated with a very authentic old fashion theme.

Indeed, the authentic footage and costume design are about the only elements that give the film resonance.

Gretchen Mol plays the picture-perfect Bettie: well-mannered, naive, and well, a bit of a dunce. This small town Tennessean has aims on making it big in acting but proves to be a shoe-in for The Big Apple’s most risque modeling scene.

Page’s suggestive poses, found today on screen-tees at Spencers, are only the beginning. This otherwise wholesome girl gets in touch with her inner nudist and finds she has no qualms about baring it all in front of the camera.

However, it seems one of Bettie’s dominatrix stints, complete with black corset and whip, just might have pushed the sex card a bit too far, shocking an era when even Hollywood was unaccustomed to such “explicit” demonstrations of “sexual deviance.”

Mol’s wide-eyed act as Bettie definitely captures the innocence of the era, while her innate sexuality accurately intercepts stereotypes of women in those times. Between her gimmicky expressions during shoots and the photographer’s gently manipulative words spoken richly with the kind of thick New York accent that just makes you giggle, there is almost enough comic relief to supplement the underdeveloped plot.

I personally have not dedicated much study to the life of Bettie Page but in her defense I’d like to contend that the woman couldn’t have possibly been this one-dimensional. I walked into the theater the same way I walked out, saying to myself, “So, Bettie Page- a pretty face and boobs.”

Granted, the broader concepts of religion and pop culture are thrown around a little within the context of sexuality but all in all I don’t think there’s much argument over the movie’s primary focus.

Movie connoisseurs and feminists would have a field day picking apart the aimless plot and overt misogyny. However tempted as I am at first thought to deter anyone with a working brain from this movie, by the second thought, for the average college student seeking a little thoughtless escape from everyday stress, I say what the heck; a little mindless entertainment and a couple of ‘titty shots’ never hurt anyone, right?

In the infamous words of Page’s on-screen character, “What is there to be ashamed of? Adam and Eve were naked in the Garden of Evil. When they sinned, they put on clothes.”

Elaine Welteroth can be reached at [email protected].