When going through the submissions for the “Name that Superhero Contest,” the Hornet Staff looked at the submitted superhero name only, and not the name of the person making the submission. However, once we had chosen the winning name, Horneeto, we were surprised to find that the winner, Lauren Kesseler, had come up with four of the superhero names that made our top seven.

Perhaps this should not be too surprising since Lauren submitted fifteen superhero names for the contest. Some notable names that didn’t make the final cut: “Captain Mandible,” “Stingy MacStingerson” and “Dwight.”

When Lauren’s not naming superheroes she tries to find time for her Sociology major and her job at Tower Books. The Funny Pages insisted that she be interviewed before she can receive her $50 gift certificate to TGI Friday’s.

Hornet Staff: Where is your favorite place in Sacramento?

Lauren Kesseler: Rick’s Dessert Diner. I am a sucker for a good chocolate dessert and Rick’s definitely has the best.

HS: If we turned on your stereo right now, what would we hear?

Lauren: The new Bjork greatest hits album.

HS: Who would play you in a movie?

Lauren: I don’t think anyone should play me in a movie. If I ever do anything great enough to warrant a movie I will play myself.

HS: If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

Lauren: The power to heal people by touching them. I would be able to cure cancer, AIDS, arthritis and everything else in an instant.

HS: If you could sleep with any famous person from all of human history, who would it be?

Lauren: Gene Kelly. He was hot and he could dance, sing, and act.

HS: What is your intoxicant of choice?

Lauren: Sugar. Nothing beats a good old-fashioned sugar high.

HS: If a genie granted you three wishes, what would they be?

Lauren: I would wish for the ability to sing well, artistic ability, and a flying car.

HS: What, for you, is the meaning of life in 25 words or less?

Lauren: To truly touch someone’s soul.

“These are the people in your neighborhood” is an attempt to create a greater sense of community at Sac State through weekly profiles of interesting people on campus, be they student, faculty, or staff. If you are or know of an interesting person that deserves greater recognition, contact [email protected]. See you in the Funny Pages!