Dante Frattini

You see it. You cringe. But you cannot look away. No, I am not describing the aftermath of a 12-car pileup on the freeway. It is what I see nearly every time I walk through the Sacramento State campus.

I am talking about public displays of affection; I shudder at the mere thought of it.

The rise of public displays of affection, or PDA, can be observed nearly everywhere.

“(I was) just studying when I looked over and saw this couple making out and groping each other,” said sophomore undeclared major Kia Yamamoto.

We get it – you have someone who loves you back. Stop flaunting it!

I do not mind seeing PDA when it is done tactfully and in moderation. Since that is so rarely seen, however, I assume that most people are not well versed in those notions.

It is a matter of consideration, said Alison Willard, freshman undelcared major, who is a barista at a Tupelo Coffee House. She described a particularly stomach-turning event involving a female customer.

The girl bought a muffin and fed it to her boyfriend right in front of Willard, almost causing her to throw up.

Incidents like that are why I am proposing the following set of PDA guidelines. These guidelines are broken into three sections.

Always allowed: hand-holding, the seated arm-around, extended hugs, and a goodbye kiss (no tongue, two-second limit, lips only partially parted and no multiple rapid-fire pecks – because you just cannot bear to be apart from your honey bear.)

Sometimes allowed: cuddling while lying on grass, lying with your head on your partner’s lap while he or she sits and reads, and silently staring into each other’s eyes.

Never allowed: any kiss involving tongue, tickling, that thing where people touch the tip of their finger to someone’s nose and say “boop!” and of course, no act of PDA inside a classroom. Actually, I better make that its own rule.

I do not think these rules are unfair. Just a little discretion, please. We as a society should recognize that even love should have some limits, at least when it comes to my eyes and your bodily fluids.

Not everyone agrees with regulation, however.

“I feel like (rules) would make people want to do it more,” Yamamoto said.

Sure, college students may not respond well to authority, but do people of our age really need a reason to “do it” more?

Public displays of affection are not intrinsically bad. It is how people use them that lends to their poor reputation.

PDA can actually do a lot of good. I would not mind if my dad saw me hold the hand of a gorgeous girl. Maybe then he would finally believe me when I say that I’m strai-. Actually, specifics are not important.

PDA can be great for those involved without being an Ipecac for others. Win-win.

Dante Frattini can be reached at [email protected].