No love in college

Kaitlin Sansenbach

College is a time of self-discovery and the last chance to be selfish before embarking on a lifelong journey devoted to a career, family, stability and responsibility.

Don’t get confused, this isn’t to say people shouldn’t have relationships in college. A college student just isn’t necessarily gonna find that “can’t eat, can’t sleep, reach for the stars over the fence, world series kind of stuff.” But by having flings, it gives a person a chance to test the waters.

Before entering Sacramento State, I was always told that I would find “the one” in college. There were even two alumni that I knew who had gone to Sac State and have been married for 31 years now.

Mary and Mervin Carson met each other the first week of school when they were 18 years old. After being involved in the greek life, they kindled a great friendship. Mary believes this to be the best way to start a successful relationship.

“Have fun as friends first, before you get serious,” Mary said.  “Do things that are creative, inexpensive, and allow you to be together alone and with groups of friends so you can really see who the person is.  Get involved with their family, if possible.”

Hearing their story before I entered Sac State, led me to have hope of a similar situation.  

Within my first two months at school I was introduced to public relations alumnae Jamie Ervin, 23. She and her boyfriend Ben Johnson were highschool sweethearts from Redding. Johnson went to San Luis Obispo in pursuit of his electrical engineering degree, while Ervin lived in Sacramento.

Here were two young adults at different schools dating against the odds and have now been going strong for more than seven years.  

“We stayed together because we make each other better,” Ervin said. “ It sounds cliche´, but I don’t know what I’d do without him – especially after witnessing the crazy antics that take place in college relationships.”

These two love-bird couples are a rare exception to the norm. The Carsons grew up in a a different era. While Ervin and Johnson met in high school and prolonged their relationship through college.

But starting completely fresh with someone in college can be quite the task and pretty unrealistic. One of the biggest catalyst for failed college relationships is technology. In less than a second students can update a statuses, take flirtatious pictures or text inappropriately. Another huge factor of failing relationships in college is alcohol. This is an issue due to a dozen of reasons.

Trust is key to a relationship and those crazy antics Ervin was referencing have been seen in far too many relationship scandals.

Senior kinesiology major Mark Goldbeck, 23, has witnessed multiple wrongdoings when it comes to relationships between college students.

“Most of my friends that have girlfriends get blacked out drunk and forget they even have girlfriends by the end of the night,” Goldbeck said. “Relationships in college normally don’t work because there are too many ways to deceive one another.

“That’s the issue with most relationships in college, being able to break those walls down for someone who is likely to screw you over in the end.”

But the idea of actually falling head-over-heels in love with someone you met in college is a little far fetched with the societal pressures on the average student.

Little word to the wise, don’t place a lot of “love” expectations with someone you’re with in college. It most likely won’t happen.