I’ve been there. It’s 2 a.m., my breath smells like hard alcohol and despite donning heels and devil-may-care attitude, I’ve officially struck out. No numbers, no hits and my bed is calling a disappointed and exhausted girl home.

The situation happens to even the best of us. But what can you do aside from sulk home in a smelly cab and pray to hook-up gods for a miracle? Suddenly, it hits you in a moment of drunken courage, one phone call or text and suddenly the night’s might not be such a bust.

The booty call: a last, desperate attempt to restore sexual pride in a drunken fog of tequila and emoticons.

“Any sporadic phone call or text message aimed towards a person where it’s bluntly obvious your intentions are sexual, is a booty call,” said Russell Jones, junior construction management major. “After 2 a.m. it’s obvious, but booty calls can also be conducted in the morning or afternoon as well.”

I could say it’s a bad idea. I could say it’s morning remorse waiting to happen. I could say go home, take a frigid shower and Advil and allow the anticipation to melt away with the shame and disappointment. I could… but I won’t.

Casual sex has a tendency to be awkward, regardless of who orchestrated the event. If your inhibitions are floating around a glass bottle somewhere in Midtown, great. But that hardly means the person you’re looking to hook-up with has abandoned their dignity as well.

I won’t sugarcoat it. There is a much better chance you end up alone, spooning a jar of Tums instead of the stud you dialed. But if the stakes are high, I’m the gambling type and a booty call can have some particularly nice payouts.

“It all depends upon your state of mind. If the sex is great, it’s a good idea. But even if it’s just a booty call, you still need to know they’re sane and safe,” said Shawn Cox, junior environmental studies major.

Drunken sex with who you think is an attractive person could soothe the midnight shakes, which is hands down better than the alternative of crawling into bed alone.

“Dating someone is a good alternative to making a booty call. What it comes down to is: Date the people you like, f— the people you want to f—, but whatever you do – don’t settle,” Cox said.

Rejection happens. But the alternative is so much better.

It’s worth the slight embarrassment in the morning.

The worst that happens is you end up going home alone, which was already your fate. So you end up sending a blushing smiley face text, accompanied by a heartfelt apology explaining your brief affair with a Mezcal worm and hard week at the office. Or you have an awkward breakfast (Gatorade counts) with a decently attractive individual and laugh off the shame together. Is that really so bad?

I’m not a fan of rejection, I don’t think anyone is.

Thanks to cellphones and instant messaging, even the drunk idiots among us have a shot of salvaging a bad night out.

Personally, I’ll take my chances. It beats donning a Snuggie and watching reruns of “Friends” until passing out in a pool of lime-scented pity.

 

Brittany Bradley can be reached at [email protected]