Watching Bay Area football should be considered a form of torture

The Raider and 49er recap has been condensed into one part today because they have become virtually the same team and there are far more interesting things to talk about. Both the Niners and Raiders lost to terrible teams (Atlanta and Houston), have ugly and useless offenses, and are going nowhere this season. Quarterback Josh McCown provided no spark for the anemic Raider offense in their 24-17 loss to the Texans (boy am I glad that sorry excuse for an NFL matchup was blacked-out) and the defense was once again embarrassed by an unimpressive opponent. This time it was Houston backup running back Ron Dayne who provided the humiliation, rushing for 122 yards and a touchdown.

San Francisco didn’t do much of anything right in its loss to the Falcons. Quarterback Alex Smith had three interceptions and the defense was burned by running back Warrick Dunn, who’s about 58-years-old and hadn’t rushed for 100 yards since Oct. 15? of last year. I guess things could be worse, although I can’t really think of how.

I thought we were past the whole choking thing, Peyton?

Whenever a game has as much hype as Patriots v. Colts had, it very rarely lives up to its billing. Although the game wasn’t quite what most people expected (13-7 at the half?), it turned out to be pretty entertaining? until the last four minutes. The Colts outplayed the Patriots for three quarters, with Joseph Addai running all over the Patriots’ defense while Tom Brady was bullied and knocked around for the first time all season thanks to the Colts’ pass rushers. Unfortunately for us Patriot-haters, Indy choked down the stretch and allowed New England to steal the win. At least we saw that the Patriots are not quite as invincible as they once seemed. I hope that the Colts get the shot at redemption in the playoffs after giving this one away.As if this rivalry wasn’t interesting enough already, there were two more events that could spice it up even more. Head coaches Tony Dungy and Bill Belichick shared a quick and disinterested handshake after the game, leading many to believe that the coaches might not think much of each other. The Patriots also accused the Colts of piping in extra crowd noise during the game to disrupt their offense, which would be a violation of NFL rules. My only response to that would be: Who cares?

Quarterbacks already have headsets built into their helmets to hear the play calls, and Brady was walking over to the sidelines regularly to get the plays directly from the offensive coordinator, anyway. Obviously the noise wasn’t bad enough to cost the Patriots the game. And if there is any team that has no right to complain about cheating, it’s the Patriots.

Somewhere, a special teams coordinator weeps?

Fantasy football players were probably a little stunned to see so many points scored by their defenses on Sunday after it seemed like every game had a big return for a touchdown. An unbelievable five teams had special teams touchdowns. The Bengals, Jaguars and Jets all had kickoff returns for touchdowns while the Seahawks had a 94-yard punt return touchdown. San Diego had the play of the day when Antonio Cromartie returned a missed field goal attempt for a 109-yard touchdown, which is an unbeatable NFL record (the end zone is only ten yards deep, so the longest possible distance from one end of the field to the other is 109 yards).

Detroit’s defense returned both a fumble and an interception for touchdowns, and gave us the latest instance of a really big guy running a very long way to score (always hilarious). Defensive tackle Shaun Rogers, who is listed at 340 lbs, intercepted a pass from Bronco quarterback Patrick Ramsey and rumbled (that’s the only way it can possibly be described) 66 yards for the touchdown. Saints cornerback Mike McKenzie rounded out all the madness with a 75-yard interception return against the Jaguars. And out of the seven teams that had special teams or defensive touchdowns, only two actually won their respective games. Just when you think this league is starting to make sense?

I don’t think those footprints all over the backs of the Charger defenders are part of the regular uniform

Never has a nickname seemed more appropriate than the one bestowed up Vikings running back Adrian “All Day” Peterson, because he spent all of Sunday afternoon trampling San Diego’s run defense. The rookie phenom rushed for an NFL-record 296 yards on 36 carries (9.9 yards per carry), including a ridiculous 253 yards in the second half, and scored three touchdowns in the Vikings’ shocking 35-17 upset of the Chargers. Aside from being a lock for Offensive Rookie of the Year, Peterson has been all but unstoppable even though opposing defenses know they have nothing to fear from Minnesota’s 30th-ranked passing attack. Peterson has 1036 rushing yards and 1242 yards from scrimmage this season in eight games, which puts him on pace to shatter Eric Dickerson’s rookie rushing record of 1808 yards and skirt by Marshall Faulk’s record for total yards from scrimmage (2429 yards – set in 1999). The rookie has also rushed for over 200 yards twice this year, and leads the league in rushing yards, rushing yards per game, rushing touchdowns and yards per carry. But he did lose a fumble on Sunday. Ha! Not so perfect now, are we, Mr. All Day?NFL Picks – Week 10 Week 9 Picks: 3-1; Season Overall: 21-11 Here are some notable games coming up in week 10 (Odds as posted on Yahoo! Sports Nov. 7): Buffalo at Miami (-3) – The winless Dolphins come off of a bye week and first-year head coach Cam Cameron is desperately hoping for a win. Buffalo has quietly put together a .500 record halfway into the season, and if not for last minute field goals by Denver and Dallas, would be 6-2. Quarterback J.P. Losman has retaken the starting job thanks to an injury to rookie Drew Stanton, and has no intentions of ever letting him have it back. He played well last week against Cincinnati, and should have a nice game against Miami. It’s always tough to travel down to hot and humid Florida in the middle of fall, and the Bills will have a little trouble dealing with it early in the game. Look for Marshawn Lynch to have a second consecutive strong outing in a close Buffalo win. My Pick: Buffalo 17-13 Dallas at New York Giants (+1.5) – This is the second-biggest test the Cowboys will have faced this year, and they didn’t fare too well in their biggest test in Week 6 when the Patriots wiped the floor with them. The Giants should be well-rested after their trip across the ocean to jolly old London, and will play a team with a winning record for the first time since Week 3. The Giants won’t be able to run the ball effectively against Dallas’ strong rush defense, and quarterback Eli Manning hasn’t proven yet that he can carry the offense when it matters most. The game will be close, but I think Dallas’ offensive line will keep New York’s formidable pass rushers away from Tony Romo long enough for him to win this game for the Cowboys. My Pick: Dallas 24-20 Detroit at Arizona (-1) – The Lions have shocked the league by winning six of their first eight games, and amazingly find themselves only one game out of first place. Arizona has been inconsistent at best, and quarterback Kurt Warner has shown yet again that he only plays well when he’s trying to steal somebody’s starting job. Since Matt Leinart was put on injured reserve Oct. 10, effectively making Warner the starter for the rest of the year, the former MVP has thrown only two touchdown passes while committing six turnovers. Detroit will be able to move the ball on the ground against Arizona’s run defense, which will free up some big plays through the air later in the game. The Cardinals will hang around in the first half, but the Lions should pull away after halftime. My Pick: Detroit 24-17 “Bet the Farm” Lock of the Week: St. Louis at New Orleans (-11.5) – Before the season started, you would have looked at this game and expected more fireworks than the Fourth of July: The matchup of two talented offenses going up against porous defenses in a fantastic shootout. Unfortunately, the Rams are dead last in the league in scoring, averaging less than 13 points per game. The Saints were equally terrible to start the season, but have regained their swagger thanks to a four-game win streak. Quarterback Drew Brees will have a great game against the winless Rams, and anybody wearing gold and black on Sunday needs to start on somebody’s fantasy team. Even if the Rams’ offense finally came to life, it still wouldn’t be able to keep up with the surging Saints. My Pick: New Orleans 31-14 Fantasy Game-Breaker: Green Bay quarterback Brett Favre vs. Minnesota – Old man Favre’s magical season continues, and the ageless wonder has led the Pack to a 7-1 record. Minnesota rode Adrian Peterson to a victory last week, but the game would have been much closer if Chargers quarterback Phillip Rivers could have actually completed some of his passes. The Vikings still have a terrible pass defense and the Packers have no running game, so Favre will have to ice his arm like a major league pitcher after this game. He will throw early and often against the Vikes, and tally 250-300 passing yards and a couple of touchdowns.

Fernando Gallo can be reached at [email protected]