A ‘carpe diem’ approach
October 3, 2007
Go to Google or Yahoo! and search for anything in relation to “getting women.” You will find millions of links ranging from “Getting Women to Approach You” to “Getting Women to Obsess Over You.” Not that it is news, but getting women is what men are all about. However, for some reason, people here at Sacramento State believe this is an obstacle most men must overcome.
Senior environmental studies major Anna Snelgrove said there is a division among men: those who will and those who will not approach women.
“Men who hit on women in bars tend to have lower morals,” she said.
This is one reason why I believe some men, usually nice guys, are afraid of approaching women. They are afraid of how they will be perceived and how they will make the woman feel, which makes no sense. What is there to fear? This is exactly why people go to social settings: to meet new people. Not to pull a Dr. Phil and state the obvious, but if you want to meet new people, you have to approach them.
Some women claim they go to clubs and bars to hang out with their friends. Quite frankly, I don’t buy into this humbug. Women claim they are only there to hang out with their friends to talk and relax, maybe even to dance. Ladies, if you want to talk with your friends and relax, go to a coffee house. Don’t go into a hostile environment where the predators are lurking. If you throw a Christian into a lion’s den, a lion is bound to take a bite.
Now if you do approach someone, sophomores Ebony Vaughan, an electrical engineering major, and her roommate Janice Moran, a computer engineering major agreed, you need to be confident.
Junior psychology major Dave Graves said, “It comes natural for some guys.”
As for the rest, they need to “grow some balls,” he said.
Graves makes a valid point: It’s easier for some men than others, but it is no reason to quit.
“You have to go for what you want,” Vaughan said.
I agree entirely with Vaughan. When people don’t go for what they want, they end up stuck with regret. People can’t settle for second best. If they do, then they will never truly be happy if they are continuously looking for someone better than their current partner.
So take a chance and approach a stranger, just not in a dark alley.
Mikhail Chernyavsky can be reached at [email protected]