Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, students of all ages! There’s a circus on campus, and everyone is invited! Admission is free and good seats are still available. It last took place Wednesday, but will return in one week. Reserve your seats now — this is one show you do not want to miss!

The greatest show since Gerth — the Associated Students, Inc. Board of Directors — is back to entertain and please!

You want wild and crazy displays of inanity — err, insanity? Grab the popcorn and feast your eyes!

Look over there! It’s the Flame-Throwing Twins, Joshua and Luke Wood — masters of the sarcastic thumbs-up and the snide remark. Get ready to cover your child’s ears, because a slip of the tongue in the form of a four-letter word is only seconds away!

There’s the Gentle Giant, Julio Velazquez! Despite undisputed power in the form of his Golden Gavel and status as enforcer of the board, he refuses to keep the performers in line. Step right up to walk all over him!

We have the Extraordinary Puppetmaster, Patricia Worley! Despite not being a voting member of the board, she pulls the strings with laser-like stares, verbal daggers and an uncanny ability to demand respect.

There’s the — oh wait, where’d they go? It’s the Disappearing Director Triplets! Lorraine Armijos, Vanessa Guerra and Jessica Owen vanished right before our eyes to resign their spots in the show. Now you see them, now you don’t!

And at the head of the House of Horror, there sits Ringmaster, President and CEO Peter Ucovich! Never has a leader looked so disenfranchised. If a statue of Ucovich were erected, it would show an exasperated subject with his head in his hands. A nearby plaque would immortalize the question that must be going through Ucovich’s mind: “What the hell did I do to deserve this?”

In summing up Wednesday’s four-hour marathon meeting of the minds, a circus analogy is kind. Velazquez, ASI’s executive vice president, never took control of the meeting; after touting his knowledge of parliamentary procedure in last year’s election campaign, the acting chairman of the board rarely, if ever, showed signs that he knew what he was doing.

Following a Luke Wood expletive, Velazquez warned the financial chief to watch his mouth. Later, amid of a free-for-all that Jerry Springer would be proud of, Worley signaled for Velazquez to call the meeting back to order. Thirty seconds later, with Worley still playing charades, Velazquez finally dug his gavel from the depths of his dais to momentarily quiet the room.

In the other 238 minutes of the meeting, disorder was the order of business. Velazquez, however, was not the only one to blame for the mess.

Luke Wood must make a greater attempt at civility by limiting his barbs and outbursts and maximizing his tact. Joshua Wood needs to stop the whimpering-followed-by-sniping act when people disagree with one of his plentiful resolutions.

Executive Director Worley needs to work on refining her people skills. Wednesday, she accused Luke Wood of misrepresenting the truth (getting him to back down on a technicality), telling Velazquez how to do his job repeatedly and verbally attacking beloved board secretary Rita Tyk for interrupting a circular, boring debate to make a relevant reminder to the directors. And this is from the “adult” leader of ASI.

Ucovich’s priority right now should be filling the three board vacancies with quality student representatives. Currently, students from two of Sac State’s colleges — as well as their undeclared colleagues — are not represented on the board because of resignations.

The worst thing about the deteriorating leadership is that it diminishes ASI’s achievements as a whole: Marlon Cuellar, the director for governmental affairs, did great work against Proposition 54 and will no doubt flourish as ASI’s campaign leader in the upcoming political season. The behind-the-scenes work to make the “Day In The Quad” events successful should be heralded and applauded. The ASI newsletter has been coming out on schedule. The website is finally updated frequently. Good things are indeed happening.

But every single time a board meeting becomes a sideshow, these achievements and accomplishments are thrown into a dumpster with the stale popcorn and the elephant droppings.

How many more times can you survive a fall from the high wire, ASI? Ask yourself that the next time you invite the public inside your tent.