Having gone to Catholic school from kindergarten through 12th grade, I experienced the stereotypical sex education: If you have sex, you will be a sinner and get pregnant and certainly a sexually transmitted disease. Now, being a logical person, I knew this couldn’t be true.

I was a “late bloomer” and a junior in high school when I first had sex. My boyfriend and I were both virgins and still used a condom, even though I was already on the Pill. It wasn’t the most painful experience, nor the best; but for a first time, it was good. It wasn’t really that awkward, no embarrassing stories – just two kids, being each others’ first.

A friend of mine was not so lucky.

She waited until college to have sex – something we all admired. Her boyfriend, however, was a no- good drug dealer who was cheating on her with two other girls, as it turned out. He got her drinking and convinced her a condom was not needed; sure enough he gave her gonorrhea. We later found out he was wanted by the police and lied to her about almost everything, including his name. Good thing we had a health center on campus and she got it all cured.

The point is, whether you are dating a drug dealer or an out-standing gentleman – wait.

The best dating advice I was ever given, I will pass along to you: Never kiss on the first date. If he asks you to sleep with him by the third date, he’s only interested in sex. Take things slow and wait at least two to three months to sleep with him. You will know he’s worth it if he sticks around without getting any action.

I can’t swear on a stack of Bibles I’ve always listened to this advice, but the good ones I have dated did wait.

When you meet someone new and are thinking about getting serious, you would prefer a person who can count on two hands how many people they have been with over a person who has had more sexual partners than you have had cups of coffee this semester alone. It’s a no brainer.

When it comes to sleeping around, less is more. No matter how it’s portrayed in movies, having a lot of experience isn’t always best.

Think about it: When you are talking to someone and you find out more people have seen them nude than you have friends on Facebook, it is a pretty big turn off. No one wants to be known as just another person that rode the town bicycle.

When thinking about your own number, a rule of thumb: Are you embarrassed about how high it is and lie that it’s lower? If you answered yes, maybe you should stop sleeping around and take up a hobby. If you answered no, good for you. You are probably a solid individual with a good sense of self.

Having sex with someone is a very personal act and chances are the first few times you sleep with a new partner, things will be a little awkward.

You don’t need to have many partners to be good in bed – just learn and listen from the one you are with.

The straight truth is no one should judge you for your past. That doesn’t mean, however, that they won’t. If you are starting something new, be honest. If they truly care about who you are, your number shouldn’t matter.

Just know that the more you sleep around and the more people know about it, the lower quality person you will attract. You wouldn’t want Kevin Federline when you could have Justin Timberlake.

 

Ashley can be reached at: [email protected]