At the age of 25, beloved niece, cousin, fiancée and friend, Jamie Austin Gonzales, lost her battle with cancer on October 14, 2008. Jamie was a strong, independent, educated woman who had a tremendous love for NASCAR Racing, photography, history, politics and journalism. She graduated from Bella Vista High School in 2001 and from Sacramento State University in 2007. Jamie was preceded in death by her Grandmother, Jean Rabe, also a Sacramento State Alumnus. Jamie is survived by her Uncles Lee and Scott Rabé, her Aunts Stephanie and Dawn Rabé along with her cousins, Kyle, Lacey, Connor and Megan Rabé. Additionally, she is also survived by her fiancé James Carey and leaves behind many close and amazing friends.

In lieu of flowers, a memorial scholarship has been established in her name at CSUS. Anyone wishing to contribute should make checks payable to University Foundation of Sacramento State and write in the memo line, Jamie Gonzales Memorial Scholarship Fund. Checks may be sent to: The Jamie Gonzales Memorial Fund, c/o the State Hornet, California State University, Sacramento, 6000 J St., University Union – 2nd Floor, Sacramento, CA 95819-6102.

A private service, a celebration of her life, will be held for family and close friends next month.

Jordan Guinn

Often in life we don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone. Jamie Gonzales was a compassionate person, a diligent worker and a friend. It feels wrong for me to refer to her as a friend because I didn’t support her like she deserved when she was diagnosed with cervical and rectal cancer.

This woman was flexible with me on deadlines, helped me track down sources and shared notes with me when I missed William Dorman’s War, Peace and Mass Media class. At the end, she was bedridden, consumed by pain, and yours truly never took the time to visit. Jamie is another name I can add to my perpetually-growing list of people I have let down during my life.

An occasional smattering of empty words on Facebook was all that she received from me. I failed her. There was even a chance for me to visit her hours before she died, but I didn’t go. I decided it could be done another day. The selfishness I displayed is downright embarrassing. The disappointment and pure contempt I feel towards myself is something only Alzheimer’s disease will have the power to tear away from me.

This isn’t to suggest that my presence would have magically cured her. It just would have been a nice gesture on my part to put down the video games for an hour and spend a few measly minutes with someone who was scared beyond words, even if she never showed it.

Despite how bleak her last year on this planet was, there were people in her life she could count on.

I have never met her fiancé, but he is a hero to me. This is a man who walked with his woman through the pits of physical and emotional hell and never slipped or hesitated. He was faced with certain defeat, but he refused to bail on the woman he adored. His courage and devotion are inspirational, and a model for what a responsible partner should do for the person they love.

Jamie was my online news editor my very first semester at The Hornet. She was integral to my growth as a journalist. She gave me assignments that were out of my realm of comprehension, and I often hated the things she wanted me to do. She had me covering webcasts on new data-gathering techniques and lectures on fiber-based technologies.

However, she was an excellent manager and would boost my ego by telling me that she wanted me to write about the topics because she “knew” I could make it interesting. I had no idea what I was doing, but she made me feel like I belonged.

She did more than shape me as a journalist. Even in her death, she still is teaching me. I just wish this were a lesson I didn’t have to learn by screwing up. I’m sorry, Jamie. You deserved so much better from me.

Jordan Guinn can be reached at [email protected]